Hacker News Reader

Comment by cheepin | Hacker News Reader

I'm not sure why they are using Facebook as their example. There, I have so many choices on how I want to deal with a bully. I can:

1.) Delete their harassing posts and/or report them.

2.) Use the privacy settings so they can't see or interact with me

3.) Not use the service if it isn't contributing to my well-being

It's hardly inescapable, and I was just using Facebook's options as examples because I know it's interface pretty well. Similar things could be said for most of these places. Unlike the schoolyard scenario, no one is forcing you to engage with the bullies: you can almost always block/ignore.

View on HN

> 1.) Delete their harassing posts and/or report them.

And you've already seen the comment and it's already affected your emotional state. This is also akin to blocking your ears and saying la la la la la.

It fuels the bully and makes you look like a 5 year old. You don't want to look like a 5 year old.

> 2.) Use the privacy settings so they can't see or interact with me

And that gives them free reign to spread any rumors about you and you can't retaliate or even know what's going on. Nobody likes being the butt of a joke they haven't even heard, but everyone else has.

> 3.) Not use the service if it isn't contributing to my well-being

And throw away 80% of your communication with friends and family. Perfect.

It's hard to opt out of Facebook because it does contribute to your well-being. It's just that pesky 2% of times you use it that are the problem.

Luckily all these problems automagically go away once you and your social group grow up a bit. But during early puberty, bullying has always existed and always will. It looks like a core part of how humans work.

> It looks like a core part of how humans work.

I would say that this seems to be true in the modern phenomenon of post-pubescent teenagers being forced to spend large amounts of time together without any real responsibility. I wonder whether it was true back when this was the age one would begin apprenticeships and taking on actual real-world responsibility -- if you weren't already working out in the fields.

> modern phenomenon of post-pubescent teenagers being forced to spend large amounts of time together

Not new.

> without any real responsibility

Did you read the article? Bullying happens in the workplace, too.

I don't think you understand the context I was responding in. Of course bullying isn't new, and of course there are some personalities that will continue to bully into adulthood. I was questioning the assumption that this is an ingrained feature of early pubescence, because the fact is that what teenagers go through now with high school and little-to-no real responsibility is a modern phenomenon.

No, I do understand the context. I am questioning the suggestion that somehow 'responsibility' prevents bullying.

> Luckily all these problems automagically go away once you and your social group grow up a bit.

Such a blanket statement is a tad optimistic.

Is it a fair assumption that the world owes you an emotional state you want?

Reply on news.ycombinator.com