I used to hate recruiters and would delete their emails or even send them letters chastising them for their inability to even do a modicum of research into my skill set.

Then I read How to Win Friends and Influence People, as cheesy as that sounds, and now I'm extremely friendly with recruiters. I've realized that I am deeply privileged to be in a time and a place in society where my skills are so valuable that it feels like spam to be provided alternative job opportunities! Seriously, what kind of backwards world do we live in where we're angry at people for trying to keep us gainfully employed? How rude of me to have acted like a pompous rock star by not giving someone common decency and respect, even if their interests don't exactly align with mine.

So now I write back to all recruiters. I graciously thank them for even considering me for the role (no matter how off-base it was), and then simply explain to them how, for example, if you're recruiting me for a Java position, a simple look at my LinkedIn profile (which I actually link to and invite them to join my network) will show I've never held a professional job writing Java. Finally, I ask that since their time is valuable (because the higher their conversion rate, the more money they make), if they could give me the same courtesy and only send me extremely relevant leads, then I will be more likely to respond.

You know what happened?

I get thoughtful, sincere responses and apologies. They appreciate that I'm not like 99% of techies who deletes or scolds them. And then they magically disappear! I receive the least recruiter emails I ever have in my career. And the ones I do get now, they actually are worth checking out. Imagine that! Being decent and taking the high road can lead to a better outcome.