Oh the horror! Just the other day I was getting a cappuccino from my local cafe, and as the barista expertly poured out a perfect latte-art fern, I thought to myself, "man, if only this process could be optimized using data, like they do at Starbucks." Then I sat at my computer and read some idiosyncratic posts from my favorite blogger. After enjoying a few posts I said to myself, "man, if only he could optimize his blog posts for maximum clicks like Buzzfeed does. Why doesn't he use data to make his experience better?"
</sarcasm>
I do generally dislike cheap negativity when responding to startup news. But this first paragraph was really tone-deaf and deserving of ridicule. Let me try to balance my criticism with some constructive advice for rewriting this press release.
Drop the first four sentences. Start off with, "When Pete Koomen and I founded Optimizely five years ago, very few companies had even heard of A/B Testing, and optimization software was about the last thing anyone considered putting in their technology stack." Then give an example. "When we first helped XYZ Sporting Goods optimize their site, we knew we were on to something. Not only did we help them write more compelling copy and better imagery that bettered their sales, we also created a much better experience for their customers. No longer would visitors click away because they could not understand what the site did, or what their message actually was. A/B Testing and data based optimization allowed us to match the website to the people who were actually visiting their site. Fast forward to 2015 and much has changed...."
Not every company is going to change the world. But you can still write a compelling, feel-good narrative without making me want to throw a shoe at the screen.