A Culture Against Dropouts, Deviants and Troubled Young Adults

Whilst it's true that we shouldn't overlook the experience of others, I believe if we try to look at the issues all at once we'll not get anywhere (analysis paralysis) or will generalise too much and miss the finer details.

You touched on one of the key points for me when you said "never got to feel the joy of learning". Perhaps that's the key problem in this case too, as the author didn't seem to have discovered the joy of learning, but discovered the joy of achieving, and the price you pay when you don't have other joys to balance you out.

I can't wait for a time when we lose our obsession with work ethic. Not that working at something you want is automatically bad, far from it, but it's not the only way to enjoy life. One day I hope we can see that being a slacker can be a noble profession.

>I'm always split when reading stories like this.

I agree. On one hand, as someone who deals with minor bouts of depression, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It sucks.

On the other, I think part of the problem are these bizarre expectations to have everything "figured out" at such a young age. The author writes about a series of what appear to be catastrophic, depression inducing academic and career oriented decisions, culminating in landing a dream job. All by age 23 or so?

It's all about academics, careers, potential employers, grades, GPA, admissions, money, prestige. Need to find my place, need to find my place. Then you find out it's not as fulfilling as you'd imagined. Perhaps it comes with the mentality of being an "overachiever". How about stopping to smell the flowers sometime, and realize you're a kid with a lot of life left to live, full of all kinds of trials and tribulations?

100x Yes!

I had a similar argument recently. It was all fun and games talking about the problems with traditional education and the loss of creative thinking until I pointed out that the only reason we can have this debate is because we went to good schools, got good grades and got good jobs.

As someone who grew up poor and extremely grateful to get out of the ghetto, I'm consistently surprised that I'm surrounded by unhappy well-off peers who have similar struggles and offer similar advice (quit job/school, follow your heart, travel, go to Burning Man, etc). These are lamentations and luxuries of the leisure class. Money doesn't buy happiness, but everything still costs money. When you satisfy 90% of what most people define as needed to keep them happy and comfortable, that last 10% takes over your world. In a post scarcity society, we are all trapped at the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and happiness seems harder and harder to achieve. Instead of being happy with what we have, we keep moving the bar.

Don't get me wrong, the author's problems are real and valid, and there is something wrong with our society when kids start committing suicide over GPAs, but a large part of me fears for our future. Maybe Star Trek really is a dystopia…

You had a 2390 on your SATs and were rejected from colleges?

I seriously wish I had stayed the hell away from college until I was mature enough to handle it. I wasted money going too early. Frankly, I may of gravitated to my profession without the aid of college. Throughout my career I've always ended up as informal tech support, and an informal in house developer. By jumping from job to job and accumulating developer experience in these informal venues, I may of had an alternative way to get my foot in the door to a real programming job.

It's not like "group work" doesn't exist once you get to the working world.

I really believe the person in the article is just strongly introverted, and that's it.

School puts a lot of pressure into socializing students, without caring about individual sensitivities. I personally hate working with other people, and there are actually plenty of people who do. Learning is a tedious task, so I'll never understand why school must be social.

There is always the same situation that occurs to me. Some guy just start talking to me while I'm doing something. I'm obviously uninterested in talking with the guy, and for some reason I'm the sociopathic weirdo. Interacting has become a standard, and those who fails to do so are quickly put away or seen at failing in society.

I really believe that society can't tolerate outcasts. Society really feels like an army of acolytes who only hold social norms. Maybe it's the remnants of instituting civilization through religion, maybe that's why people can't behave without having a set of beliefs who don't have any ideas behind them.

As someone who is currently finishing up Fullstack, you do have to work in groups but it isn't the bullshit you have to do in college. You pair program with different people each day to work through workshops. You work in groups on projects, but everyone pulls their weight and it isn't at all what I had experience in groups in college. If you don't know how to work in a group, then you don't know everything you need to get a job. Pairing and working on teams is going to be your life as a programmer, so you are going to need to learn it. If you are at all interested and it is something you can do I'd highly recommend applying. It will push you to work with people, but it is a supportive community that'll insure you do well.

I would suggest that we do have it in the West. It's not unknown to know people who live at their family home well into their 20s, don't work, don't go out much, spend their time getting stoned, watching TV, surfing the web, and playing computer games.

The only major differences between the hikikomori and the equivalent Western stereotype is that food isn't brought to the room, and this leads to some limited social interactions with those around them.

I can understand the appeal of being a recluse, and I'd much rather someone became a recluse than topped themselves.

> "until his parents"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks like the author is a female. Not that it matters that much, the issues apply to both males and females.

> There is way too much disconnection in academia.

It depends. Sometimes there is, when you sit among 500 mostly disinterested peers in a lecture hall and lecturer is taunting you that he is there to make half of you fail.

And sometimes you stay in the lab late into the night because you know, that your advisor needs these results to extend his grant money. And all your lab-mates are like "But you are just a master's student, you shouldn't care about this publish-grant-cycle BS untill second year of your PHD!"

and you can have many in-betweens.

Lol, if that is upper class then I am upper class too. Didn't have much money growing up, so I am kinda surprised.

I'd add to that list "couldn't go on the path in the first place", too, as there are plenty of people who fall into that bucket. I wish there were more public acknowledgement of the sentiments in your last paragraph. Refreshing comment.

>It's _very_ important to avoid discouraging teenagers and young adults from going on their own path.

Alternative idea: it's important to discourage teenagers and young adults from going their own path, to make sure that only those who are really prepared and committed will actually do it. Like the old Jewish tradition of telling anyone who wanted to convert "no, go away" three times before eventually letting them start the process.