I personally feel that few traits are truly immutable, and that a lot of it is really just in your head. People who conform to a belief end up becoming what they think, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've met tonnes of asians who are great at social settings. Just like I've met tonnes who aren't. Just like I've met tonnes of (black|white|hispanic|etcs) ...
I have noticed that asians engineers in particular, in a corporate setting, tend towards "work hard + wait for reward" strategy. Maybe it's the intersection of what draws us to engineering and upbringing that results in this?
But yeah, to say it's genetic is silly :)
It sucks, but the good thing is that it's never too late to change. There are tons of boss Asians. I was rather popular in high school (and I'm from the deep south, only Asian guy in my class) and college, and often find myself the center of attention in social situations. One of the upper level managers at my company is Asian and he's very social, and he even has an accent! I have plenty of other friends who are very extroverted and confident, and they're asian too.
It's a skill, like any other, and focused hard work will yield improvements.
you're making excuses for your under-developed social skills.
how embarrassing.
-Ryan Iwamoto