Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

Cars, and the entitled culture we have fostered around them, make streets hostile to pedestrians and likely fatal to small children, even if children followed the laws and common sense. I experience it practically daily. Every time I cross the street at a marked intersection, cars will stop for me 9/10 times. At unmarked intersections, its more like 5/10. Crossing at a stoplight with a walk signal on is still precarious because of the tendency of many drivers to blow through crosswalks without stopping so they can turn right on red. Every single day I experience a situation that could be fatal to a less visible child with a more fragile body and slightly worse situational awareness. No way.

The second problem is the CPS story. My neighborhood is extremely safe, but the parents here are borderline psychotic about helicoptering their way through their children's lives. Every time I take my kid to a playground, I end up witnessing helicopter parents freaking out about how my kid will climb a ladder by himself or jump off of a piece of equipment by himself... sometimes they swoop in to "parent" for me...and other times they will chew me out for being so irresponsible as to let my kid learn his own boundaries. As much as I respect the mission of CPS, I've heard enough horror stories about their enforcement of parenting methodology that I wouldn't ever risk having them called because my kid walked to the park by himself.

It's a shame.

I've lived here 13 years & am raising 2 girls who both have been able to live in the manner described in the article.

1) The number one reason why we feel comfortable is the number of "safe" people constantly around. In Japan, every apartment building of size has maintenance people who stay several years and know all the children in the neighborhood, and recognize strangers. Every supermarket has parking attendants. Every construction site has "guards" to make sure people cross the area safely. Every train station has staff around. Many grade schools have patrols of parents who literally "sweep" the neighborhood right before school lets out, just checking that no "out of place" people are hanging around in the parks and neighborhoods.

What this REALLY adds up to is like the article said - there are always people out there keeping an eye on things.

2) "Japan is safe" - yes, but assaults on children/young people are a problem, and parents worry. My first point prolly rules, but we are still selective in when & where they can do that. We make sure someone is meeting them on the other end. It IS safe, but not all "roses".

Just my thoughts

For more information see http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2402/how-many-kids-...

> Taking responsibility for shared spaces means that children have pride of ownership and understand in a concrete way the consequences of making a mess, since they’ll have to clean it up themselves. This ethic extends to public space more broadly (one reason Japanese streets are generally so clean). A child out in public knows he can rely on the group to help in an emergency.

This sounds alot like a Montessori school philosophy. I've got two kids in one and that's one of the biggest things we love about the school.

The freedoms that the kids are allowed and the lack of constant hand holding is something that we really appreciate.

Honestly, this perception – that they try to place secondary – is KEY. Living in Japan, it's a stark contrast to walking around the States in any major city. Japan feels – and is – significantly safer.

You may still believe in the benefits of diversity, but there are also costs. One of them is that little kids can't ride American subways alone.

Actually, the headline should read "why are USA little kids the only ones so dependent?"

I could go ahead and be a demagogue and say it's because all the helicopter parenting and the fear mass media... but I think it has more to do with the fact that we can go walking anywhere.

Europeans in general, and Spaniards in particular, live on the streets. We hardly use cars: most things are at walking distance, and public transportation is fine. Real crime, like abductions and violence, is very rare, and people help each other.

Local policemen (non-militarized) are everywhere and they help any lost kids. I have been lost maybe a couple times, in a supermarket and in a foreign city and, while I lament the stress that caused on my parents, they knew that I would turn up at some point. And I did. I was a little kid and I was just... lost. That happens and it's not a huge deal.

I'll turn the argument 180 degrees: the USA is a very, very young country. You know what they say, in Europe, 1000 km is a long distance, and in the US, 1000 years is a long time. We've been living in small cities literally since the dawn of time. We've walked. Many cities have streets where cars don't even fit.

It is mainly a car and culture problem. However, it'd be an improvement if you americans could convince your mass media not to constantly spread fear. We also have those fake-fear-documentaries but most people disregard them for what they are: yellowish press crap.

I think Americans have an almost pathological reflex to gaze at sentimental stories that are sensational because they are exceptional, then use them as guidelines for how the world is now.

The sentimentality aspect, which drives interest, outrage and action, is what makes it so pernicious. Sentimental appeal is what drives our politics, media and fundraising. If there's no emotional aspect, our media is quick to invent one by creating angles like arguments between talking heads.

I know many on HN understand that there are fewer than 200 stranger abductions of children per year in the US. Maybe you even know that runaways have decreased by over 70% in the last ten years.

How would the US public ever know this?

In the emotional marketplace, that simple fact can't compete with these facts which, when conflated in the media, produce utter paranoia:

http://www.missingkids.com/KeyFacts

I have nothing against the work this organization does; they are as captive to the existing narrative as police or parents or anyone else.

I think the progress in this area is that through electronic media, we can actually measure pretty easily how informed the public is by the media they consume. Hopefully we can get closer to news that demonstrably informs people.

Helicopter parents tend to be more of a US-American invention.

The question is how helicopter parents will change the way the next generations behave in society, as children have to take responsibility and become independent at some point.

Now granted, we occasionally have reckless drivers speeding down the street. There isn't as much respect for pedestrians in the USA, so I guess that's a factor.

They mention a lot of good things. What they don't mention is that Japan has a relatively high average age. It is a country full of old people.

In Africa, when too many adult elephants get killed, you see unsupervised adolescent elephants get injuries that essentially never happen if there are enough adults around. Countries with an average young age for the population tend to have more problems, generally speaking, especially with a violent angle, whether violent crimes or civil war or terrorist groups or what have you.

This is not the sort of thing where you directly observe "Specific old person does X, young people respectfully go along and we can see how it happens." It is more subtle than that. But the effect nonetheless exists.

I think it is a good article, but I think that detail is one they overlooked.

Not only we drive kids all around in the car to get things done, we also need tell them "not talk to strangers" etc if they happened to be walk home from nearby school.

And the school always need more parents to be lunch helpers or recess watchers, of course PTAs etc, all the way so kids entering college are still treated like a baby to some extent. no wonder many of them live with their parents at adult age after they graduate, we just blame the economy for that though.

In addition, soon we may need armed guards on k-12 campus to keep them safe? for some colleges they will need learn how to carry a gun to stay safe.

If you do it in New York, you'll probably get a visit from Child Protective Services.

I want to try this with my 3 year old. Find a very large park which has a canteen or shop at one end and send him off to buy something. I'd still like him to be visible, but it seems like it would be really fun and empowering.

After 9 years living in North America, that one line explains the difference between here and my home country better that I've ever been able to.

On a daily basis, it just feels like Americans are not in a unified society working together to help each other and have a common good - it's a much more individualistic society where everyone is looking out for number one. If someone else has shitty healthcare and is on hard times, too bad for them.

The Police in my home country are friendly and helpful, and I fondly remember asking them for help as a child and young teen. Upon arriving in NYC, I asked a policeman for directions and he barked at me for not calling him "Sir". Wow.

All within artillery range of North Korea too.

While I myself would wish to live in a community where this kind of behavior is OK or encouraged (I'd like for my son to be able to walk to the grocery store a quarter mile away at age 6 or 7 without fear of societal repercussions), I also reject some of the narrative that this article seems to be putting forth (and I predict the comments here will also put forth) that if we let our kids be independent, they'll turn out better. They might, they might not. They'll definitely have a different set of problems, just like every generation before them.

This has to do entirely with public perception (as user alexleavitt also mentioned).

In Japan, I feel safe to leave my bag on a bench while I go use a public restroom. I expect my bag to be there when I return. It's probably not any safer, in reality, than it is where I am in the States - but I would never leave my bag on a table unattended where I live. I would expect it to be stolen.

In reality, it would probably be there when I get back. No different than in Japan.

When I walk around Los Angeles at night, I walk defensively and make sure I keep alert at all times and I'm always paying attention to my surroundings. When I was walking around Tokyo at night - it felt no different than the day. Except it was dark outside. I'm certain that had I had better knowledge of the "dangerous" streets of Tokyo, my perception would be different.

If I feel safe, I'm likely to feel my child is safe. In the US, a child walking on the streets in most suburbs is likely just as safe as in Japan... but public perception means you'll get child protection services called on you if you think about letting your 9 year old walk down the block to the store to buy a soda.