MD, PhD such as developmental or occupational psychiatrists or psychologists whom specialize in the particular spectrum of autism behaviors/impairments help most with coping skills, because there is no "magic cure" for autism at this point. I think some supporting caregivers get frustrated and take that out on others or blame the doctors when they're barking up the wrong trees, when they're just looking in the wrong places because they don't seek out support groups or more information.

For example, what's sinister about one part of the spectrum , high-functioning autism, is that it isn't even looked at, much less labeled, and it's impossible to get SSIDI even if someone is unable to hold either a job or relationships.

Finally, the author shouldn't feel terrible... I had Marfan Syndrome my entire life and am looking (not) forward to a valve replacement. I diagnosed it correctly myself after every doctor over (at the time) 35 years missed it entirely. Doctors are too busy, don't have time to get to know their patients or catch life-threatening, so you have to know your own body and become an MD yourself because few of them are actually any good.