How to Turn Down Freelance Work Gracefully
christopherhawkins.com
christopherhawkins.com
The problem with the whole "I don't think this is a good fit" angle is project owners will then try to convince you why it should be an excellent fit, and they're often not wrong. If you advertise yourself as, say, a full-stack web app developer, it's difficult turning down someone asking you to help out on a generic web app.
The second thing I tried is reasoning with people by letting them know why I personally think the project is a bad idea, or is not salvageable. Unsurprisingly, it's almost impossible to do this without insulting them, or without inviting responses like "well, then maybe you're just too incompetent for this".
So the only thing that actually works in my experience is: "sorry, I'm fully booked at the moment, so I can't take this on". The beauty of this approach, even though I recognize it's morally questionable, is that it's an entirely realistic reason. In fact, it's the exact same response I send out when I am indeed fully booked. You leave that person behind with a neutral impression, and they still feel good about their project (which is important because I could be very wrong in my judgement of it).
Now that I've said this, I'm sure I'll end telling someone "uh...I'm all booked up" before the week is out. :)
That said, IMO the word "No" is a full sentence, and when clients do as you describe, trying to forcefully argue why it should be a good fit, I simply hold to my original rejection and don't participate in that discussion.
They may want very badly to initiate a game of tug-o-war, but unless I agree to pull on the other end of that rope, it's not happening. :)
I agree 100% with you about the pitfalls of giving a personal critique of why the project is a bad fit/poor idea/not salvageable. That's just bad news.
Also, those bogus inquiries you mention? OMG BANE OF A FREELANCERS EXISTENCE. Not a single week goes by where I don't have an interaction like this:
Small Biz Owner: "I have an app idea!"
Me: "Of course you do."
Small Biz Owner: "You have to sign an NDA before I'll tell you!"
Me: "Straight-up 'no'."
Small Biz Owner: "OK, then...my idea is 'Twitter, but for law enforcement officers'! And they have to pay for it! It's GUARANTEED to make millions!"
Me: "OK, we can build & launch it for $10k."
Small Biz Owner: "What?!? That...ten THOUSAND? That's preposterous!"
Me: "It's guaranteed to make millions, right?"
Small Biz Owner" "Yeah, but...can't you do it for equity?"
Me: "Get out of my office."
(note: the above exchange has been hyperbolized for comedic effect)
You are always fully booked, even if your doing very little, because this project is not enough to make you move your current schedule around to accommodate it.
Did you have that outlook on day one, or did it take some number of years in the freelancing game to come around to that outlook?
It's not all that different than a new project as an employee, though you may have less control over your scheduling. If you hand me one project it takes all my time When you come back with another project and ask me if I'm busy the answer is yes, I am 100% dedicated to this project. Taking anything else on takes time away from that so I have to look at what I'm doing and weigh if its important enough to reduce the amount of work on the other project.
Freelancing requires a whole 'nother type of thinking and self-accountability. It's one of the most common things I end up mentoring freelancers on.
"I need a TOS document for a social media website that is binding in all jurisdictions. 50$"
or..
"Our app needs a privacy policy that will protect us from lawsuit in China and Europe. 100$"
I don't turn them down anymore. Rather, I unless I have an ethical duty I don't respond. It always ends in an ugly argument.
And now I learn that I didn't even dodge a bullet by becoming a developer instead? Heartbreaking. :)
1. When I talk to someone about a new project, I do it in person or on the phone, not email. This is important.
2. The first call is always to see if the work would be a good fit, and I'm clear about that. If the client or the project isn't a good fit, I just say so. "I'm not the best guy for this work right now, you might want to talk to so and so".
Regarding #2, is it always clear to you on the spot if a project isn't a good fit? That's kind of awareness is rare, IME, and kudos to you for having it!
A lot of the freelancers that I've mentored need a bit of time & space to ponder and re-play the tape in their head, so to speak, before they can come to that conclusion.
Clues:
Does the client respect your time? Texting me at 11:00 PM to talk about your project isn't going to work. Bad. Do not let the client intrude like this. It will drive you mad.
Does the client want to defer payment because they're talking to a big customer who needs to sign on? That's utterly unrealistic. Bad. Clients who are about to sign big customers are well past the dev hiring stage. This speaks to poor business management skills.
Does the client have leave a wake of unreliable developers in his path? If so, tread carefully. One is ok- there are a lot of flakey devs out there. Two is not. I once had a guy ask me if I could asses his previous dev's work as support for a small claims case. Um. no.
Does the client want to offer equity instead of cash? This is almost always bad. People who know what they're doing generally have some cash to get started, and generally prefer to use it. You might find a good client doing this, but it's very rare in my experience.
Does the client want to talk about entrepreneurship or does he have something to build? I get a lot of talkers. See the part above about respecting my time.
Has the client actually thought about what it is he wants?
Does the client have wildly misplaced sense of the technical scope of his project? Just say no.
Does the client come off as lacking in confidence? This isn't horrible, but they tend to be short lived, one off projects.
Can the client communicate clearly? This can be a real problem if they can't.
Does the client want you for crunch time because he planned poorly? <- Reread the last 4 words of this sentence.
Does the client want you to work with some cheap overseas code because they blew half their budget on what they thought would be a good deal and don't realize they have to start over now?
The theme is people in over their heads. Sometimes it's just not going to work, and if you pay attention, you can tell pretty easily.
And more importantly, new freelancers rarely have the ability to make those evaluations on the fly.
I sense that this is not your first rodeo! :)
But I think even new freelancers need to just trust their gut. If it sounds flakey, it generally is.
Also, thanks for the compliment! That e-mail template took forever to iterate into what you see today. :)
By maintaining the arms-length that an e-mail provides, it helps the freelancer (especially one who is new, uncertain of herself, or who hasn't learned to hold boundaries yet) to avoid getting sucked in to anything.
Plus, it provides a paper trail for later when the client comes begging back and the freelancer wonders "now, why did I turn this project down? Oooooh, right, they wanted to gnarfle the garthock, and that feels unethical."
So, while you're right in that it could be handled more personally, my experience tells me that it's often better for all involved if it's just a weensy bit less personal.
It shows gratitude, explains the decision in a straightforward manner, provides helpful referrals, and keeps the bridge intact.
Do you have another option?
When I craft interactions, I do so using a "reasonable client" standard, not a "moody client" standard. I can bear no responsibility for whatever negative interpretation a moody client may choose to assign to my words.
My responsibility as a professional is to communicate in a clean, honest, and not-tone-deaf manner. Now, if I fail on any of those three points, that's on me, for certain. And when I deliver a piece of communication that comes up "green lights" on those three points, it's on the recipient if they have a negative emotional reaction.
Looks like you & me are from different planets perspective-wise, my friend. :)
That said, this template has worked like gangbusters. People have even gone away and come back later, having cleaned up their act, and ended up working with me.
Also, how are you defining "excessive" with regards to length? it's 4 paragraphs:
Paragraph 1) Thanks! Paragraph 2) But no thanks! Paragraph 3) Here are some alternatives! Paragraph 4) Let me know how it goes!
Which of those paragraphs do you feel should be cut?
Also, can you walk me through the mental connect-the-dots you used to conclude that "excessive length" = "something to hide"? I find your conclusion fascinating, mostly because I don't understand its underpinnings.
> Second, after our consultation and looking over the specifics of your situation with my team
Sounds like you're calling out the specifics of his project as being problematic. This vague yet specific line is going to attract questions and / or arguments.
> it looks like we're probably not a good fit for your project."
= The "it's not you, it's me" method. A very obvious and overused way of saying that you don't like something, but you'll pretend that there's something wrong with you. Even young children can see through this attempt at controlling emotions.
Regarding the length, it's extremely common for people to interpret long excuses for avoiding something as deceitful, even if that's not truly the case. It's a well known phenomenon. "Signs of Lying: Offering multiple excuses for a situation, instead of just one". One of many sources: https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?Con...
> All that said, don't hesitate to keep in touch. Your project has a lot of merit, and sounds like it will be real winner with the right team behind it. I'm looking to hearing about your eventual launch!
Anyone who's frequently dealt with proposals and rejections knows that this is a meaningless gesture. E.g. lesser VCs use this "keep in touch" line all the time. After hearing the 10th person say it, who you know couldn't care less about your project, it starts to feel extremely fake.
> Instead, I recommend you talk to one of these local firms:
This part is a nice gesture though. The only part that I'd use from the template.
> I know it's hard to know who to turn to with such an important project, and I appreciate your show of trust.
Perhaps the client had no hesitation at all in sharing his plans with freelancers. Now suddenly you're telling him that he should be concerned and that freelancers as a class are untrustworthy? Even if true, maybe not a good thing to be pointing out to the client.
Granted, I disagree with virtually all of it, but I really do appreciate that a) you HAD a thought process behind your comments, and b) you shared it so clearly.
Respect!
Anyone who's frequently dealt with proposals and rejections knows that this is a meaningless gesture. E.g. lesser VCs use this "keep in touch" line all the time. After hearing the 10th person say it, who you know couldn't care less about your project, it starts to feel extremely fake.
You learn if it is a meaningless gesture by how the follow up goes down, not based on "all the other people who said it were full of crap." This is a problem genuine people run into. The only antidote is to say what you mean and mean what you say, not avoid saying what you mean for fear that people who got burned in the past will hear a polite fuck off.
It's not the norm - usually they just go away and that's that. But I do like hearing that people made their project work somewhere, with some consulting firm, even if it's not mine.
Client projects can be more like marriages than most freelancer are aware of, or would want to admit if they were.