The thing I sometimes wish for most is a 'hard reset'. When I was a lot younger I achieved this just by changing everything - cities, jobs, possessions, relationships. The resultant clear space was intoxicating as there was no 'cruft' of incomplete tasks nagging away at the edges of ether consciousness. As you get older this is virtually impossible or at least very difficult because of the people we share life with. Writing down endless lists can help to declutter the mind and allow focus - this is the core of the GTD strategy. However the things are still not done.
I also have been given rewards for procrastinated tasks, and some of my best work has been done last minute. Yet I recognise that perhaps that work would have been even better with more preparation.
So I'm currently without a great strategy, still getting work done but perhaps failing in other areas where other non-work goals are not necessarily being completed. I think decluttering (physical and mental) is the key but this in itself takes serious effort and can involve anguish (throwing things out and abandoning goals and tasks takes commitment)
Repetitive factory workers probably don't procrastinate near as much because once they learn the job, the decision-making aspect goes way down. Plus, they'll get fired.
Close. We're addicted to all manner of other things that give us that instant dopamine hit. When you ask somebody what do they do when they procrastinate, they rarely say they do something productive[0]. Instead, it's an activity that's designed to trigger that instant high: browsing the web, playing video games, eating, smoking.
My reward system is completely divorced from reality. I get rewards all the time for doing absolutely nothing. It's supposed to be, you do some work, you get a reward. You go fishing, dinner is your reward. You build a treehouse, the satisfaction of a job well done is your reward. But what do you do when you can get 100x the reward just clicking through hacker news?
I'm currently working on resetting my dopamine threshold by limiting my web browsing to 1 hour a day and meditating more. I'll be honest, it's not going well so far.
[0]: some do, but they don't consider their procrastination as a problem.
I'm tempted to start consuming the internet solely through my kindle (again, just the instant fix sites: hn, reddit, facebook). It would slow my consumption way down and I'd only be able to use it when I'm not working. But, I need to find a way to stick to that and not also read HN and Reddit while I'm at the work computer. The only tried and true solution I've found for that is to get an accountability buddy. I tried to do that once in person with co-workers (I offered to give them $20 if they can catch me consuming caffeine), but in the end they were uncomfortable taking my money. The next step is researching those accountability buddy startups, where you give money to an organization you hate if you fail.
One thing I've tried to do is do household chores when I feel the procrastination urge. It's still procrastination but at least it's a bit more useful than playing video games.
Stop masterbating. It's creating a mess of your dopamine reward system and has left you unable to get anything done.
In this situation I'd like to recall Bertrand Russel's great dictum: "Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time". :) Totally changed how I think about my "procrastinating" time when I read that.
Describes me perfectly. :)
For anyone who wants to really understand the disorder (even those who have it and think they have a good grasp on it) Dr. Russell A Barkley, PhD is a great place to start. In particular this video, "Essential Ideas for Parents": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAGc-rkIfo
If you have ADHD I can't recommend his books enough.
Seeing as they were self-imposed, the easiest 'solution' to the resulting 'depression' is just to lift them! Great! Oh, wait, we're back where we started..
I ended up an order of magnitude more miserable and in a very bad financial position for half a year. I can see how it works for people with big tolerance for stress (apparently I'm not one of them), but it's a double-edged sword.
It causes me problems with others as I work/communicate quite differently but I've learned to use it as a strength, as I tend to be really creative and to think out the box easily.
1. understanding how it particularly manifests in (you, if you indeed have it), and 2. developing foundational patterns of action to support repetitive tasks and activities throughout your day.
Talking with someone who has expertise in diagnosing the disorder can be supremely helpful. If nothing else they'll help you narrow further where those effects are stemming from if not AD/HD, and if a diagnosis does make sense, they can help you start to build the structures and patterns in your life that can help alleviate those symptoms.
Driven to Distraction by Hallowell and Ratey was supremely helpful for me in understanding the deficit better and in helping to develop strategies to overcome / shore up some deficiencies in my day-to-day.
You have the time (doesn't feel that way, with all those DUE RIGHT NOW tasks I have that are way more important) to make the appointment (and why can't they just see me today, it probably won't take that long, it's just a questionnaire, right?), drive to the doctor (and deal with all those idiots on the road who clearly can't drive as well as I can, and where did they learn the rules of the road anyway?), wait in the waiting room (didn't I just fill out all this paperwork online like they asked, trying to be efficient? Why am I doing this again? I should tell them there are better ways of doing this! And that guy coughing over there, didn't he learn to cover his mouth? Ugh, figures, reading a trash magazine, probably doesn't know any better) and talk to the doctor (who I should totally tell about the nootropics I've been reading about to see if he knows about them too and can just give me some of those and send me on my way because I've got shit to do, and it ain't gonna do itself, and OH LOOK, THAT SQUIRREL JUST JUMPED TWO FEET IN THE AIR!). It can't hurt.
Note to the reader: the parentheses indicate my own thoughts when I did this years ago. I was told later by others I've met with AD/HD that they had the same exact thoughts, and it helped them to see a doctor. I was also told by others who didn't have AD/HD that I needed to grow up, suck it up, and just do it. To me, that clarifies the difference of someone with AD/HD and someone without. Either you can identify with every single one of those things in parentheses, or you think, "of course we all think some of those things, but we put our big boy pants on and get it done; it doesn't mean you have a deficiency in your neurochemistry, it just means you have to motivate yourself a bit more to get anything done."
But when it's stuff I don't enjoy or I'm a bit down, it's a totally different ball game.
I also tend to not be concerned about dates far in the future because I secretly believe I can pull a rabbit out of the hat whenever I want and get the 1 month task done in a day, I'm that fucking good. Of course, I'm not.
ADHD is not something to be flippantly tossed around on not being able to do stuff until a deadline, that's just classic procrastination. I know you didn't mean to sound flippant, but you are being flippant and also I don't think it's a good idea to start conflating ADHD with procrastination.
Frankly, the description you have given is very similar to AD/HD, especially the "I'm that fucking good" part. Yes, I know you weren't bragging, but that sense of infallibility and the letdown that invariably follows when your abilities don't manifest ... I'm guessing it sours you to the project you're working on? Can't seem to direct yourself back to it to care again like you did when you were focused on it the first time? Anxious to find something else that's more interesting where you can prove what a rockstar you are? That rush when you pull that rabbit out of the hat, feels good, doesn't it? Dopamine is great, when you do something that creates enough of it that your brain feels rewarded. For many, it doesn't take much. For many people with AD/HD, the last minute YOLO cramming/programming/building/working session is what it takes to feel like we're doing anything worthwhile.
EDIT: I guess that means either you don't have AD/HD, or just something else that inflates your sense of your abilities. Maybe you're just addicted to the rush of the looming deadline? I don't know. I'm not a psychiatrist.
- Lack of awareness or concern for timelines until immediate consequences loom.
- Inability to control focus if not emotionally invested. (So-called hyperfocus is much part of ADHD as is non-focus).
These are both things that would light up an ADHD scoreboard. They're almost direct quotes from the literature, and if you spoke to a group of ADHD people they would recognize them immediately.
People with ADHD have many explanations for "why" they are this way. A lifetime of rationalization does not make it not so. So perhaps talk to an ADHD specialist - it can make a huge difference in your life, and your loved ones.
Ask someone diagnosed in later life, say, over 40, if they would have preferred to not be rationalizing and suffering the consequences over the last 20 to 30 years.
Like yourself, until diagnosed, I would have never considered ADHD a possibility because I would regularly focus intently on a programming project or random wikipedia rabbit hole for hours and hours at a time, often skipping meals and staying up until the early hours of the morning. But it turns out these trances of hyperfocus are typical for many ADHD sufferers. There are different flavors of ADHD. I never experienced the hyperactivity that often leads to diagnosis in children.
Keep in mind that one of the requirements for diagnosis in the DSM is impairment in social, academic or occupational function. In my case, spurts of hyperfocus routinely kept me from maintaining healthy sleep, diet, and hygiene routines, and ADHD also prevented me from doing homework and chores that were uninteresting. Unfortunately, there are precious few people who are able to exclusively focus on whatever engages their fancy at the moment. For me, it was debilitating.
Check out the video brazzledazzle posted above. You'll learn ADHD is way more nuanced than the popular understanding.
You don't use the same part of the mind that exercises intellectual understanding in order to gain emotional intelligence. For some, it's like an underused-mental muscle. It grows stronger with practice.
"It's like asking an alcoholic to understand the emotions of why he drinks."
That's a great question to ask!
I guess, if you are like me, the problem is in your head and you are thinking about it all the time - until you achieve the clarity on what exactly to do OR you are forced to start since the time is fast running out. You may be browsing HN, but, the problem solving is happening in your brain as a background thread. ie., some amount of procrastination is required for some of us. But, it is debatable how much of this is necessary.