Man, you really need to read up on stuff. There is a difference between saying "No you don't get a separate nation" and saying "No you don't get a separate nation, and yea I'm just going to put 800,000 armed troops here to shoot you without being subject to jurisdiction if you ever ask. yes that includes innocent children and women"
Here is the thing, dude — 70% of all people from outside Kashmir don't know what is going on there. They immediately resolve to cursing Pakistan or Kashmiris, portraying their troops and their dirty politics as a favor they're doing to us. You know why that referendum was never held? Because the answer is clear — Go away, or at the very least stop shooting our people.
Sadly most of India will never understand, because they aren't listening. Impose AFSPA in Delhi and Mumbai and tell me how that goes.
Don't try to wildly justify everything your people do just to show your kinship to them. It makes you a fanatic, not a patriot. Most of my friends are from India. I love them, and have deep admiration for them. India is a great nation, but sadly it has been very unfair to Kashmir. And successfully made it appear as though they are trying to help, being portrayed as martyrs to their own people.
Research. That will fill in the knowledge gaps you have with regard to kashmir. Then think about it on the grounds of humanity. You will be one step closer to realizing that the situation is actually much different from what you hear about in the news or what your politicians tell you.
Love and respect from Kashmir.