What would you prefer, some amorphous undefinable moral relativism where everyone is somehow a good person, and we're all the same? Public shaming is a pretty decent prosocial incentive.
We used to have the state jail, or even torture, adulterers. Society eventually agreed that it's not their job to do that. Let's hold off on forming lynch mobs.
And if a ton of these people are non-monogamous, then perhaps we as a society should have a discussion abuot how our values are shifting and what new families look like, but something tells me that there aren't suddenly millions of non-monogamous marriages.
We've generally determined that sexual practices, as long as they're consensual and do not involve harm to anyone outside the participants themselves, should not be subject to persecution. This includes incest, as much as it may disgust you. A lot of people are disgusted by coprophagia, that doesn't mean we should publicly shame people for having sexual tastes that aren't to our fancy. It is as arbitrary as shaming people for musical preferences.
Domestic violence is a wholly separate problem altogether. There's nothing that doxing will do to solve it.
I agree that financial data being dumped is over the top.
Why should we have that discussion? If my spouse was cheating, I'd want to have that discussion in private, without gawkers, and without social pressure from the uninvolved.
I would still contend that you do get to have the discussions surrounding all of this in private, if you choose, or in public amidst people who are going through the same thing that you are through discussions like these, the legal system, etc.
What about the scores of people to whom cheating is a dealbreaker, who now have the means of divorcing their cheating spouses? What is the net outcome of the situation?
Personally? Easy choice, I'd pick not knowing. Others might pick differently.
How so, when all your neighbors and family members can know?
What about the scores of people who have a blue car?
How about we put the line somewhere between physical force and broken promises? Just an idea.