In my experience C++ libraries tend to do better because of culture using RAI for everything. And the C++ servers I've worked with most of them had a std::exception handler some where near the top of connection / request handler and deal with it fine. And over the years, the bad_allocs helped us deal with some dumb (but not malicious) clients without going down. In one case the client was essentially causing a multi GB buffering window to happen.
I'd be curious if anybody at fb could share their experiences since it seams like they building a lot of stuff using their C++ folly / proxygen libraries.